Heavenly Father!


I desperately need you

for I am filled with despair, hurt, suffering, loss,

worry and anxiety!

I’m drowning here, Lord!


I try so hard, God,

to do the right thing, to follow Your guidance,

to care for people,

to care for myself.

And yet, sometimes, I feel like all I do

is flounder around in the muck and mud!

“I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path, and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in him.”

-Psalm 40:1-3 (NIV)

How long, Lord, have these been my go-to verses

when the world seems to be falling apart,

and I know not what to do

but trust in You?

And how very many times have these words held true?

You hear my cries of anguish!

You ALWAYS lift me out of my despair,

set my feet upon Your pathway,

give me renewed Faith and cause to praise You.

So very many notes in my Bible margins

of times when You have been faithful, and worked good

even though I have floundered and felt lost.

And yet here I am again, on my knees,

sobbing as my heart breaks.

Lord, why do I feel as if I have failed

when my intentions were good,

when I tried to do the best I could?

“Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me! My only hope is in your love and faithfulness. Otherwise I perish, for problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head.”

-Psalm 40:11-12A (NIV)

Please, Lord, make things right.

Give me hope that all is not lost.

Help me, guide me.

Let me communicate as I should,

fill me with Your Love and wisdom,

open the Hearts and the doors that lead to Your will,

and fill me with Your Peace, Lord,

I beg You.

I cannot go on with this load I carry.

I try, but I am not meant to carry this on my own.

You are my God,

the Lover of my Soul,

my Protector and Guide.

I am not alone in all this.

You are working for me,

working for those I Love.

You make Blessings out of chaos and confusion,

and Your greatest gifts are

Salvation, Love, Hope, and Peace.

Please, God, let me trust all this to You.

Let me rest my head upon You,

knowing that I am Loved,

and that You are working good even of this situation.

“Take courage, my soul! Do you remember those times (but how could you ever forget them!) when you lead a great procession to the Temple on festival days, singing with joy, praising the Lord? Why then be downcast? Why be discouraged and sad? Hope in God! I shall yet praise him again. Yes, I shall again praise him for his help..”

-Psalm 42:4-5 (NIV)

Lord, I turn to You.

I trust in You.

I cannot fix what is broken,

but You are the God who heals the brokenhearted.

I give this to You, Lord,

asking that You continue to guide me,

and that You heal what I cannot heal.

I Love you, Lord.


“If you want favor with both God and man, and a reputation for good judgment and common sense, then trust the Lord completely; don’t ever trust yourself. In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you, and crown your efforts with success.”

-Proverbs 3:4-6 (NIV)

I know this night that I am not the only one, pouring out my sadness and despair to God. Each of us, at many, many times in our lives hits that wall where we’ve made mistakes, and we’ve tried our best, and still, we seem to be surrounded by turmoil. If this is you tonight, then I am sorry. But take heart- God is close to the brokenhearted, and He never fails us nor forsakes us.

I Love the verses from Psalms. David was “a man after God’s own heart.” He Loved the Lord, trusted the Lord, and followed the Lord. But he was human. He made mistakes. He had his hardships, and he questioned if God had deserted him in his times of need. But if you read all of Psalm 40 especially, you will see that yes, David pours his heart out to God in anguish. He is full of despair, and wonders if God has forsaken him. But David also recalls that God has always taken care of him. He reaffirms his faith in God, and knows that God will save him, will give him cause to praise the Lord again.

As my prayer remembers, I have DECADES of crying this prayer out to the Lord amidst numerous afflictions, sorrows and hardships. Yet each and every one, God has seen me through and worked good out of it. So while this is a time of despair for me, I also know that God works miracles. I can trust Him that all is not lost, good will come of this time, and there is always Hope in the Lord.

Is it easy for me, to trust God in these times, to let go and let God do His thing? Not sometimes, despite all my evidence that He works for me. Yet, I try. I call to God, I try to lay my worries and burdens at His feet. And I have that tiny mustard-sized seed of Faith deep in my soul that He will take care of it. Thanks, God, so much for that Faith, and the Peace that it brings.

I pray these words bring comfort to those who read them, and a reminder that God is for You, and working upon your behalf always because you are precious to Him.

Blessings and Peace, Billie


All pictures in this post were found on Pinterest