Heavenly Father!


I desperately need you

for I am filled with despair, hurt, suffering, loss,

worry and anxiety!

I’m drowning here, Lord!


I try so hard, God,

to do the right thing, to follow Your guidance,

to care for people,

to care for myself.

And yet, sometimes, I feel like all I do

is flounder around in the muck and mud!

“I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path, and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in him.”

-Psalm 40:1-3 (NIV)

How long, Lord, have these been my go-to verses

when the world seems to be falling apart,

and I know not what to do

but trust in You?

And how very many times have these words held true?

You hear my cries of anguish!

You ALWAYS lift me out of my despair,

set my feet upon Your pathway,

give me renewed Faith and cause to praise You.

So very many notes in my Bible margins

of times when You have been faithful, and worked good

even though I have floundered and felt lost.

And yet here I am again, on my knees,

sobbing as my heart breaks.

Lord, why do I feel as if I have failed

when my intentions were good,

when I tried to do the best I could?

“Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me! My only hope is in your love and faithfulness. Otherwise I perish, for problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head.”

-Psalm 40:11-12A (NIV)

Please, Lord, make things right.

Give me hope that all is not lost.

Help me, guide me.

Let me communicate as I should,

fill me with Your Love and wisdom,

open the Hearts and the doors that lead to Your will,

and fill me with Your Peace, Lord,

I beg You.

I cannot go on with this load I carry.

I try, but I am not meant to carry this on my own.

You are my God,

the Lover of my Soul,

my Protector and Guide.

I am not alone in all this.

You are working for me,

working for those I Love.

You make Blessings out of chaos and confusion,

and Your greatest gifts are

Salvation, Love, Hope, and Peace.

Please, God, let me trust all this to You.

Let me rest my head upon You,

knowing that I am Loved,

and that You are working good even of this situation.

“Take courage, my soul! Do you remember those times (but how could you ever forget them!) when you lead a great procession to the Temple on festival days, singing with joy, praising the Lord? Why then be downcast? Why be discouraged and sad? Hope in God! I shall yet praise him again. Yes, I shall again praise him for his help..”

-Psalm 42:4-5 (NIV)

Lord, I turn to You.

I trust in You.

I cannot fix what is broken,

but You are the God who heals the brokenhearted.

I give this to You, Lord,

asking that You continue to guide me,

and that You heal what I cannot heal.

I Love you, Lord.


“If you want favor with both God and man, and a reputation for good judgment and common sense, then trust the Lord completely; don’t ever trust yourself. In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you, and crown your efforts with success.”

-Proverbs 3:4-6 (NIV)

I know this night that I am not the only one, pouring out my sadness and despair to God. Each of us, at many, many times in our lives hits that wall where we’ve made mistakes, and we’ve tried our best, and still, we seem to be surrounded by turmoil. If this is you tonight, then I am sorry. But take heart- God is close to the brokenhearted, and He never fails us nor forsakes us.

I Love the verses from Psalms. David was “a man after God’s own heart.” He Loved the Lord, trusted the Lord, and followed the Lord. But he was human. He made mistakes. He had his hardships, and he questioned if God had deserted him in his times of need. But if you read all of Psalm 40 especially, you will see that yes, David pours his heart out to God in anguish. He is full of despair, and wonders if God has forsaken him. But David also recalls that God has always taken care of him. He reaffirms his faith in God, and knows that God will save him, will give him cause to praise the Lord again.

As my prayer remembers, I have DECADES of crying this prayer out to the Lord amidst numerous afflictions, sorrows and hardships. Yet each and every one, God has seen me through and worked good out of it. So while this is a time of despair for me, I also know that God works miracles. I can trust Him that all is not lost, good will come of this time, and there is always Hope in the Lord.

Is it easy for me, to trust God in these times, to let go and let God do His thing? Not sometimes, despite all my evidence that He works for me. Yet, I try. I call to God, I try to lay my worries and burdens at His feet. And I have that tiny mustard-sized seed of Faith deep in my soul that He will take care of it. Thanks, God, so much for that Faith, and the Peace that it brings.

I pray these words bring comfort to those who read them, and a reminder that God is for You, and working upon your behalf always because you are precious to Him.

Blessings and Peace, Billie


All pictures in this post were found on Pinterest




Dear God!


Please help me!

As David says in the Bible, I am filled to the depths with despair;

I call on Your Name for aid!

“O Lord, from the depths of despair I cry for your help; Hear me! Answer! Help me!” -Psalm 130:1-2 (TLB)



Why does it all seem overwhelming at times?

My Life is not bad;

I have a GOOD Life that You have given me,

filled with Love and Family, Hope and Friends.

So, why then, do I find myself at times filled with despair,

my emotions all a-whirl?




I am tired. So tired, all the time.

Owwwwwwwww. Pain,

in my back, knees, feet and legs.

God, I LOVE my new job!


And I know that my body will adjust,

that I’m learning, and will not always be floundering to balance everything.

But for now . . .

I feel as if all I have carried

seems to come crashing down at my feet.


There was a time, when I was young and had energy,

when I could do the tasks You gave me,

juggling Home and health, Family, food, helping others

and time with you, God.

I find it harder now to deal with everything,

perhaps because I am no longer a Spring Chicken any more,

(Or a Spring Peacock for that matter- isn’t it cute!?!)

You tell me to take care of myself.


The task seems insurmountable!

I need sleep, I need good nutrition and exercise.

Keeping up on medical issues,

not sitting so long at the computer or phone.

Spending time with you, Lord

finding time to relax and renew my Spirit.

Time with my husband, with Family, with Friends.

Caring for the Home, the pets, working,

TRYING to keep up on housework!



How, Lord?

How am I to do all appointed to me,

and with good Grace?

How do I Love You, Love myself, Love others

when all seems overwhelming?

I don’t mean to whine.

You have seen me through so many hardships,

and have given me so many Blessings.

I thank You, Lord.

Even now, most of the time, I’m learning this new Life. And Loving it!

But I MISS my daughter! I miss my Mama!

I can’t find TIME! And I am so low on energy!

Even as I embrace and an excited about my new Life,

it’s hard to shift from the old one.

Can I just lay my head on Your shoulder?

Because when I do, I feel you caress my hair

as You whisper words of encouragement and Love in my ear.

You’ve got this,” You say.

I Love you, and all will be okay.”

As I cling to You, Loved in Your comforting embrace,

my tears begin to subside.

I have been so exhausted;

usually this despair comes upon me late at night

when I am overwhelmed by tasks yet unfinished,

and worries of the coming days.


“I am exhausted and crushed; I groan in despair.”

-Psalm 38:8  (TLB)

Yet, You are already there with me.

Through it all, You are with me.

And things I think so overwhelming and important,

are really just minor things in Your Grand Scheme of things.

Love Me” You say. “Trust in Me.”

When I am confounded and befuddled, anxious and worn down,

those are not of You, Lord.

You are encouraging, Loving, accepting.

You ALWAYS welcome me with open arms,

so filled with Joy to see me, to spend time with me!

You never contrive to overwhelm me.

If I am overwhelmed, it is because I have not turned to You,

I have not heeded Your guidance.

I struggle on my own strength,

pushing through toward the goals of my choosing.

“Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust him to help you do it and he will.”  -Psalm 37:5  (TLB)

You came to give me Life, and abundant Life.

Not weary worn frazzled Life.

Please, Lord, help me remember this.

And, yes, I hear You!

I am to take care of myself but also cut myself some slack.

For I am Yours and I am Loved!

Thank You, Lord, that in You, there is always Hope.

I Love You, Lord!



As you read this, please know that I do not live in constant depression, nor am I primarily sad and overwhelmed.  Life brings changes, changes that are new doorways for the Lord to Bless us with.  But they can be challenging and heart-wrenching at times.  We all feel anguish, dismay, confusion.


I choose to share this with you because I want you to know that it happens.  To all of us.  Yes, strong Christians get overwhelmed at times, feel lost, and don’t know how to deal with everything.  But there is always Hope in the Lord.  Please hold onto that promise, and remember that He is with you ALWAYS and that HE LOVES YOU and thinks that YOU ARE WONDERFUL no matter what!  And if God Almighty thinks you’re wonderful, then you better believe it!


I leave you this day with Love and with Hope.

Blessings, -Billie

“For the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, says: Only in returning to me and waiting for me will you be saved; in quietness and confidence is your strength; but you will have none of this.”  – Isaiah 29:15  (TLB)


Bamboozled from

Crying in Anguish, Out of the Depths, Please Hold Me Jesus, and Hope found on Pinterest

Baby Peacock found on

Overgrown Yard from

Overwhelmed from

Life Abundant found at



There are a world of hurting people out there.  Literally.  And it breaks my heart, just as I know it breaks God’s heart.  Yesterday I was going about my (somewhat) normal day, and it was a GOOD day.  I went to church, hung out with Friends, went shopping and out to eat, spent time with my Family-  all pretty normal stuff with lots of Blessings from God in the day.

But during the course of my day, I connected with five different people hurting.  Not just the normal, everyday hurts that come our way on a regular basis but Heart-wrenching, Spirit-breaking hurt and despair!  FIVE people whose world was falling apart around them, wrapped in pain, lost without Hope.

That’s a pretty high amount for a normal day, although I have at times encountered more.  If you came upon these people out of the blue, you probably wouldn’t even guess the depth of despair that is struggling to pull them under.  Yesterday, I just happened to be at the right place at the right time to listen and hear God’s whisper for me to look a little closer, and see that someone needed Love and encouragement to help ease them through their pain enough to continue through the day.

Thank God that I listened, and acted on my “gut feelings.”  I know I didn’t solve their Life’s problems, but I gave them a faint glimmer of Light that people care, that they are not alone.  We all need that from time to time.

I admit it: I know there are times when I don’t listen to God’s promptings, or even worse, I choose to ignore them because I am too busy or just don’t want to deal with it.  Sometimes I have so much going on in my Life, that I haven’t the energy or ability to do much to help others.  But two things I know:

  • Even just a few moments to show someone else that you notice and you care can make a world of difference.  I may not know where to send someone who just lost their job, or help heal someone in pain.  But just by acknowledging them- their battle, their hurt, I can validate that they are not alone in this world, that people really do care.  Even just a few kind words can give Hope.  And a HUG for someone in pain can feel like a life preserver in a treacherous sea.
  • I can ALWAYS pray for those whose hearts are breaking.  Sometimes we don’t feel like that’s enough but I know this-  “Praying is not the least we can do for someone; it is the MOST we can do for them!!!”  Maybe it’s someone I don’t know, or that I’m not going to see again, but I can bring their pain to God and ask Him to wrap His arms around the bereaved person, giving them the comfort and strength they need to continue on, and asking that He give them Hope and guide them to the help they need.  If I feel called, I ask to pray WITH them, so that they are reminded of God’s Presence and provision.  Other times I am not so moved, but I know that I can talk with God, pour out my heart of pain for them, and not only will he listen but He knows what’s going on with them that I don’t, and He is already working for them, for their benefit and their good.


Some people seem to be totally born with a heart like God’s.  They are ultra-perceptive to other people, and are filled with God’s Grace.  It almost seems like they are able to Love ALL of God’s children, ALL of the time while balancing their own lives and issues as well.  And I believe that there are people who God gifts with an extra measure of Love and Compassion.  For many, though, it’s a process, just like the rest of Life.  (Thank goodness we are a work in progress, that God’s not finished with us yet, and that we GROW more and more to have a heart like His.)

So how do we listen for those whispers from God?  How do we have eyes open to see a hurting world?  Just be aware that people out there ARE HURTING, and you never know how close someone is to despair.  Cut people a break, try to be more patient and less condemning.

When I was a young Mom, I remember having a TERRIBLY DIFFICULT day.  I had to go shopping for groceries, and after I unloaded the groceries into the car, I didn’t have the strength or energy to walk across the aisle in the parking lot to put the cart in a corral.  So I gently steered it in front of my car.  However, two young ladies in the car across from me WENT BALLISTIC!  How could I be so uncaring and irresponsible?

You know what?  At that moment, it was all I could do to keep it together.  I was in pain, I was exhausted, I was taking care of my child, and getting groceries to care for my husband and I.  And I was dangling from the end of my rope.  I’d like to say, I told them I was doing the best I could, and got in my car and drove off.  I didn’t.  I caved in to their bullying, and took care of the cart with tears in my eyes.  But you know what?  Maybe they were having an atrocious day too.  Or maybe they just didn’t know any better that some days, people are doing the best they can, and a bit of Compassion (or lack there of) can affect their whole outlook.

I tell you this because, YES, IT STILL HURTS!!!  And it still makes me ANGRY!  (Obviously, I still have some growing to do.)  But I also mention it because I want to remind people out there to please BE GENTLE WITH OTHERS!!!!  Be willing to have Compassion and patience with others.  Know that they may be in GREAT NEED of God’s Love, and YOU are His hands and feet and LOVE here on this earth!  With strangers, with your co-workers, with your Family and Friends, the clerks at the store, the lady with screaming kids at the zoo, the guy who stole your parking spot, please try and cut them some slack.  If you’re in management somewhere, treat your staff with respect.  If you treat them good, they will probably treat you well too.  But even more importantly, you are in a position of authority and influence in their lives.  Get to know them, and genuinely CARE how you treat them, and if they are going through rough times, be Compassionate!  And for those of us with Families, we MOST ESPECIALLY need to be caring and aware of those we Love.  That is our Highest Calling in this world-  to care for and Love on our Families, ESPECIALLY when they are hurting!

Kind words and actions heal; careless or mean words can cause permanent damage.  The same holds true for kind actions vs. mean or careless actions.

And listen.

Listen for God’s promptings.

His heart breaks when His children are hurting, but He uses us to help with the healing.

First off, if you are a Hurting Person today, nearly at the end of your rope, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE know that God is with you, and people REALLY DO CARE FOR YOU even if you may not see it!  Reach out to those around you- in your Family, at church, with your Friends or with people you feel close to at the gym or at work, and let them know you are in need.  God does care, and He is working on your behalf!

And for all of us, we need to remember that everyone around us is going through things we know nothing about.  Be gentle, and listen for that little voice inside you whispering for you to take a second look, say a kind word or reach out to someone in need.


Look-  what’s that I see in the distance?  It may only be a faint glint as of yet, but it brings Hope to the Broken-hearted.  Be that glimmer of God’s Light to a world in need!  –BILLIE


Hurting Woman by Deborah Cauchi

Hurting Man from

HUG! found on Google

Please Be Gentle With Me and Be God’s Light found on Pinterest

It Takes Guts from



Hey God-

You there?

I know You are but sometimes I don’t feel like it.

How can Life be joyfully bliss one day, and sunken despair the next?

I know You are good.  I know You take care of us- of me,

But some days I get so lost, Lord.

I struggle, I wander,

I cry out to You, Lord.

“Where are You!?!  WHY!!?!!  Help me, PLEASE!!!!”


I do know that You Love me so!

Some days are glorious, filled with such jubilation and merriment!

Your Light shines down so brightly upon me,

And all is right with the world, with me, with my soul!

Sparkles and shimmers of Your magnificence swirl about me,

Through me, out to the world around me!

What Joy!

Laughter ABOUNDS!

I see YOUR Love as others are Your hands and feet, caring for me,

Blessing me, renewing my spirits with refreshing Hope.

I am at Peace- filled with YOUR Peace,

KNOWING this precious care is of my Heavenly Father,

Pouring down Your Grace upon me.

I know that You are taking care of me.

I am content.


And then . . . .

The world crashes down upon me!

EVERYTHING goes wrong.

Tears course down my face, fall like drops of rain.

I can no longer keep in all that is churning within my soul.



I am NOT in control.

There are things, many things, that I CANNOT fix.

And if You are in control, God,

WHY do such AWFUL things happen to the children You Love?



Is it all meaningless then?

Does anything I do, all that happens, any of it make a bit of difference?

If I am flawed . . . and I am . . . then how can I EVER do ANYTHING right!!?!

Cries of torment and wretchedness wrack through my body.


Then . . . ANGER

Anger at those who have hurt me or treated me unjustly.

Anger at my Loved Ones . . . for being human, just as I am.

Anger at the world and my situation and expectations, mine and others’.

Anger at myself, for not being . . . perfect.


And ANGER AT GOD!!!!!!



Is that even allowed?

Am I allowed to be mad at God, to cry out my frustrations and hurt?

Because YOU ARE GOD!  I am to Love You and Honor You and Respect You.

And really, my Life is not that bad.

But then I remember the Psalms in the Bible,

Written by David, “a man after Your own heart.”

He cried out in anguish, questioned You, AND poured out His heart to You!

And You DIDN’T strike him down dead with a lightning bolt!

You Loved him, You took care of him.

Just as You do me.

And I Love You, and Honor You, and Respect You, just as David did.

But You’re also my God, and my Friend,

And I can pour my heart out to You.

You’re more than capable of handling it.

Thank You, Lord.


Often these doubts, this discouragement, this anguish

Come at me in the middle of the night when I am tired and weary.

The enemy waits till my defenses are down, then


And laughs, because it is an effective strategy.

But, You, God, are the Lord of the Night Sky,

Keeping countless untold worlds, stars and galaxies

Spinning, dancing in their paths given by You.

You are NEVER sleeping, always WATCHING,


My own personal Guard,

There ALWAYS to protect me.

Why then, do I fear, and give in to dismay?

Instead, I can call to You,

Curl into Your waiting arms,

And rest peacefully,



It sounds easier than it is, Lord.

Too many times, I let the terrors in my mind control me.

Yet, the dawn always comes after the darkest of times.

The next day, my fear subside as I witness again Your miracles anew each day.

Your Love given to me by the people I encounter,

The warmth of Your sunlight upon my face,

The Joy I bring to others with kindness.

It is well with my Soul.


And if I remember this-

If I call to You in the dark of night-

If I beg for Your Peace with heart open to receive it,

Ah, WHAT BLISS this be!


Thank You, God.

For Loving me even when I don’t see it.

For being faithful as You care for me.

For letting me vent to YOU, pour out my anger to You,

But also, for letting me have that mustard seed-sized bit of faith,

That even in my darkest of times is still there,

Flickering with a tiny flame of Faith-

But still there, still shining,

Ready, waiting to leap back to Life

As my Faith in Your continues, and grows yet again.

Selah.  Halleluja!  Amen



So, I know this is a bit different post from me, but I felt it needed to be shared.  Some days, some weeks or months or years are like this.  We go from intoxicating trust in the Lord, to wondering, questioning, total pain as we feel lost to God, or wonder if He’s even there.  If this is you, I totally understand.  And it’s okay to question, to wonder, even to rail at God, because He can take it, and He wants the REAL you, not some pretend character who says everything is alright when it’s not.

But please also remember, that God PROMISES He is here, Loving us and taking care of us.  There are going to be hard times, but He is there to help us through them.



For me, age and experience have shown me over and over again that God REALLY is faithful.  I remember the times He has come through for me, rescued me, brought me out of my valleys back to the mountaintop with Him.  I pray that you can do the same, and that tiny spark of Faith in you will continue to burn even as just as an ember until it is ready to ignite back into a BLAZING BONFIRE OF FAITH in our God!  Because it will.

My Prayers are With You,  -BILLIE



Hear My Cry O God bible journaling from @BELOVEDART

See the Light image found at

Crying Woman from

Angel of Despair is a picture from a New Orleans Cemetary

Joseph Prince quote found at

In the Arms of Jesus and The Best Blaze pictures are from Pinterest

A Tiny Spark at

Season of Growing Sign seen on Facebook